Ok, so I went to see my Pap today. I didn't get to talk to him like I wanted to, because my aunt and uncle and cousin were in from Hershey, but we buried the hatchet. He was extremely happy to see me. I got a ton of kisses, my grandma noticed I've lost weight, and hugs galore. I got invited to my aunt and uncle's house to go to Hershey park this summer...before June, when they retire and move to their beach house in Delaware, and I've been invited there as well.

My Pap loved Liana. He talked to her, and she was a bit weird at first, but got better the longer we were there. He asked me to come back and see him again this week, and I'm going to. I cried when I got home. I felt better to know the cloud has lifted. Now I can truly say I have no regrets. I just hope he makes it through his surgery on Thursday. I'd like to try and get some time back with him, even if only for a short time.

I don't think I've cried like this in a long time. I know Brian has a lot to do with my holding no regrets, and for the whole self discovery and happiness I now hold close to heart, but wow, this was something that took me a long time to get over, four years since my Pap McGough died and I finally buried the hatchet. That makes me feel good, and sad, knowing I waited so long.

In other news, as the subject mentions, I'm really drunk. I went out tonight and had all intention of only having one drink, but I talked to Carmine and told him what was going on and he continually bought me drinks and shots. So in two hours, I'm smashed. I did break my sushi cherry tonight, and I tried salmon cakes as well.

I finally did some realization tonight. It's amazing what being drunk will do to a person when all they do is talk. I realized how much I do hate it here, how little there is here for me, and how much I love cevyn. It's weird, knowing how much I love a person and not being able to do a thing about it.

Not much else..at least, nothing is coming to mind. I'm on the phone with ulnagar which is helping with things, but I'm off to bed shortly. I have work in a few hours.